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MAD MEN QUOTES
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MAD MEN Quote
"Draper? Who knows anything about that guy? No one’s ever lifted that rock. He could be Batman for all we know."
Said by: Harry Crane
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Mad Men season 1
Mad Men episode: Marriage of Figaro
MAD MEN Quote
"Honestly-I think she's jealous of me. I've seen it before, I was in a sorority "
Said by: Betty Draper
Said to: Betty's Therapist
Mad Men season 1
Mad Men episode: New Amsterdam
MAD MEN Quote
"I need you to go and get a cardboard box. Then put your things in it."
Said by: Don Draper
Said to: Pete Campbell
Mad Men season 1
Mad Men episode: New Amsterdam
MAD MEN Quote

Said by: Don Draper (SNL SKIT)
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Said by:Don Draper
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MAD MEN Quote

Said by: Ken Cosgrove
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MAD MEN Quote

Said by: Don Draper
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Peggy Olsen "Sex sells"

"Just so you know, the people who talk that way think that monkeys can do this
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Said by: Don Draper
Said to: Peggy Olsen
Mad Men season: Two
Mad Men episode: One
MAD MEN Quote
"You know what my father used to say? 'Being with a client is like being in a marriage. Sometimes you get into it for the wrong reasons, and eventually they hit you in the face.'"
Said by: Roger Sterling
Said to: Don Draper
Mad Men season: One
Mad Men episode:Long Weekend
MAD MEN Quote
"Here's your basket of kisses. "
Said by: Peggy Olson
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Mad Men season: One
Mad Men episode:Babylon
MAD MEN Quote
"Crab, Duck; Duck, Crab."
Said by: Roger Sterling
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Mad Men season: Two
Mad Men episode: A Night To Remember
MAD MEN Quote
"Remember Don…when God closes a door, he opens a dress. "
Said by:Roger Sterling
Said to: Don Draper
Mad Men season:1
Mad Men episode:Long Weekend
MAD MEN Quote
"Kids today, they have no one to look up to... 'cause they're looking up to us. "
Said by: Don Draper
Said to: Roger Sterling
Mad Men season: 1
Mad Men episode: New Amsterdam
MAD MEN Quote
"Sterling Cooper has more failed artists and intellectuals than the Third Reich. "
Said by: Don Draper
Said to: Pete Campbell
Mad Men season: 1
Mad Men episode: New Amsterdam
MAD MEN Quote
"I'm Peggy Olson. And I want to smoke some marijuana."
Said by: Peggy Olson
Said to: Paul Kinsey & gang
Mad Men season: 3
Mad Men episode: My Old Kentucky Home
MAD MEN Quote
Greg: "I don't want to have a fight."
Joan: "Then stop talking."
Said by: Joan (Holloway) and Greg Harris
Said to: each other
Mad Men season: 3
Mad Men episode: My Old Kentucky Home
MAD MEN Quote
"I hate to break it to you, but there is no big lie, there is no system, the universe is indifferent."
Said by: Don Draper
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MAD MEN Quote
"I know people say life goes on, and it does, and no one tells you that’s not a good thing. Why is that? "
Said by: Betty Draper
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Mad Men episode: Long Weekend
MAD MEN Quote
"That's life... one minute you're on top of the world, the next minute some secretary is running you over with a lawnmower."
Said by: Joan Holloway
Said to: Don Draper
Mad Men season: 3
Mad Men episode: Guy Walks Into an Advertising Agency
MAD MEN Quote
"Victory medal. France. I should have another for beating the clap."
Said by: Gene (Betty's father)
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Mad Men season: 3
Mad Men episode: The Arrangements
MAD MEN Quote
"Connie, there are snakes that go months without eating. And then they finally catch something, but they're so hungry that they suffocate while they're eating. One opportunity at a time."
Said by: Don Draper
Said to: Conrad Hilton
Mad Men season: 3
Mad Men episode: Guy Walks into an Advertising Agency
MAD MEN Quote
"Jesus, it's like Iwo Jima out there. We should put a rubber mat down so Cooper can get around."
Said by: Roger Sterling
Said to: the Sterling Cooper team
Mad Men season: 3
Mad Men episode: Guy Walks into an Advertising Agency
MAD MEN Quote
Harold Ford: The man is missing a foot. How is he going to work? He can't walk.

St. John Powell: Doctor said he'll never golf again.

Harold Ford: I'm afraid we have to re-evaluate our entire strategy.

Said by: Harold Ford and St. John Powell
Said to: Don Draper
Mad Men season: 3
Mad Men episode: Guy Walks into an Advertising Agency
MAD MEN Quote
"You shouldn't be kissing boys. Boys kiss you."
Said by: Betty Draper
Said to: Sally
Mad Men season: 3
Mad Men episode: Souvenir
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"What do you like to drink? You're German, right? I can get us some beer, or Riesling? Schnapps?"
Said by: Pete Campbell
Said to: his neighbor's au pair
Mad Men season: 3
Mad Men episode: Souvenir
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"I want a Hilton on the moon. That's where we're headed."
Said by: Conrad Hilton
Said to: Don Draper
Mad Men season: 3
Mad Men episode: Wee Small Hours
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"It's my purpose in life to bring America to the world. Whether they like it or not."
Said by: Conrad Hilton
Said to: Don Draper
Mad Men season: 3
Mad Men episode: Wee Small Hours
MAD MEN Quote
"After all those things we threw at Kruschev, you know what made him fall apart? He couldn't get into Disneyland."
Said by: Conrad Hilton
Said to: Don Draper
Mad Men season: 3
Mad Men episode: Wee Small Hours
MAD MEN Quote
"All these guys are dead. Except you, of course. And Doug Thompson, and I wish he were. He lent me a whole roll of laxatives. I thought they were candies. I want him to show up and keel over."
Said by: Roger Sterling
Said to: Bertram Cooper
Mad Men season: 3
Mad Men episode: The Color Blue
MAD MEN Quote
Moneypenny: "Very rousing, sir."
Lane: "Churchill rousing, or Hitler rousing?"
Said by: Moneypenny (Mr. Hooker) and Lane Pryce
Said to: each other
Mad Men season: 3
Mad Men episode: The Color Blue
MAD MEN Quote
Roger: "Mr. Hooker has rearranged the secretaries in the pool alphabetically."
Joan: "By cup size?"
Roger: "Well, I know where you'd be sitting."
Said by: Roger Sterling
Said to: Joan Holloway (Harris)
Mad Men season: 3
Mad Men episode: The Gypsy and the Hobo
MAD MEN Quote
"...and who are you supposed to be?"
Said by: Don's neighbor
Said to: Don Draper
Mad Men season: 3
Mad Men episode: The Gypsy and the Hobo
MAD MEN Quote
"All I know is that I know her, you know him, there they are and they don't care where we are"
Said by: Jimmy Barrett
Said to: Betty Draper
Mad Men season: 2 (episode 8)
Mad Men episode: A Night to Remember
MAD MEN Quote
Roger: "Another Egg. Well I am having fried chicken."

Don: "As long as the egg comes first."

Said by:Don Draper
Said to:Roger Sterling
Mad Men season: 1 (episode 2)
Mad Men episode: Ladies Room
MAD MEN Quote
"Mr. Draper, I don't know what it is you really believe in, but I do know what it feels like to be out of place, to be disconnected, to see the whole world laid out in front of you the way other people live it. There is something about you that tells me you know it, too."
Said by: Rachel Menken
Said to: Don Draper
Mad Men season: 1
Mad Men episode:
MAD MEN Quote
Pete: "This must be Murray."
Bob: "I'm Bob, Murray stayed in Portland."
Roger: "Too bad, he's missing jackhammer season."
Said by:Roger Sterling
Said to the Jantzen executives
Mad Men season 4
Mad Men episode:Public Relations
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